unrequited

Cheers to another unrequited love, ending up so tragic. Quotang quota na ko dun but I never really learn huh. Hehe. Anyways, I am grateful for those experiences. It had made me stronger and better. And though I'm still halfway to being fully OKAY, I am really doing better. Matatapos ko na rin ang process of moving on, SOON. Though it still struck me, the pain is not that bad anymore. Desensitization lang yan. It will get better in time.

As an only child, pinalaki ako ng parents ko na puno ng pagmamahal, and everytime I love, I always... ALWAYS give my ALL. (Though may mga pinaiyak ako nung highschool at college. Bata pa naman ako nun e. Siguro karma na to.) Yun nga, my last heartache, ako rin yung mas nagmamahal, recently, ako pa din. hahaha! Ganyan ako magmahal e. Kung sana, tinimbang ko muna kung ano ang mali at tama. Pero ganun talaga pag nagmamahal e, nagpapakatanga, nagpapakaMARTYR! Yung point na I was hurting so much, I was still holding on pa rin, kasi MAHAL ko e. Sabi ko dati, SIYA na naging MUNDO ko e. That I lost SELF-LOVE and SELF-WORTH. Sa kanya na umikot mundo ko which is hindi sana. If only I was wise enough to see that his stars wouldn't even revolve in mine. Kung sana nung mas maaga pa, nag exit na ko. We wouldn't have ended that way. Pero everything happens for a reason ika nga and I know God has better plans.

And God has His timing. Never too early. Never too late. Just perfect.

But I am really grateful he came in my life. I am grateful of what WE had. He's still one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I will never forget him. And though He had hurt me so much that I almost gone insane, he had made me stronger and bolder. Kasalanan ko rin naman, masyado kung PINUSH. Nagmahal lang talaga ako ng sobra. :) If only we could fix our friendship which is the one thing na NASAYANG. But maybe in God's perfect time, reconciliation will make its way. All my hate before is gone, it was all maybe because of too much anger and pain. Anyways, grudges aren't good. I wish you all the best in life. I wish you happiness. Really. 

Thanks for all the memories. You are always in my prayers. Maybe that's the one thing I could give to you. Since we don't talk as much as would talk every single day before. 

Yes we don't talk. We don't even consider each other's existence. Strangers. Again.