getting there
It's been a while dear.
I've been through wet pillows, beer bottles and hangovers, skipped meals, blank stares... almost overly depressed.. even thought of suicide... for that past six months. All because I fell deeply in love but then I ponder.. Was it right to feel that way? "He" became the center of my universe that I even forgot that God should be the one. I lost track with my journey with God. I'm so sorry dear Father. I wonder if all those tears I shed was worth it? But I know God has greater plans for me. I can't promise but I'll try my very best na magbalik loob sa kanya , spend more time praying and reading His word.
It still hurts here because I still think of "Him", the man I've loved who almost broke my sanity but I shouldn't blame him, ginusto ko din to e. Eventhough at times I can't help but build hatred against him.. pero kahit pano kasi, nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. I just miss him so much and I do always pray for him. Wherever he is dear God, please guide him to the right path. On my part.. help me to become better and help me heal all these pains, guide my heart dear Lord. Guide me as nagbabalik loob po ako sa Inyo.
True love waits. Pero nakakatrauma na din po kasi. It's good that I'm better now pero can't evade the times na sober pa rin ako. For now, I'll keep myself busy and spend time to relax and unwind with my friends and family. Pero dapat di ako busy sa time ko with God.
Hirap pa din mag move on e, kasi siguro nga.. ako mismo hindi ko ma-i-let go ang sarili ko.Dahil kahit pano.. maybe I still hope na magparamdam siya.. that there'll be "US" again. (*Sigh) T_T
Kaw na po bahala sa akin Lord, pero dapat lang nga siguro I should help motivate myself.. pero I guess it will take time to be fully okay.
Dati I'll say nung single ako (na walang attachment sa iba), "God is still building my palace"--referring to my love life. Pero lam mo ngayon kahit pano, medyo na discourage na kong magkaroon ng happy ending. There'll not always be a happy ending. Bitter lang?
Help me Lord na magbalik ang strong faith ko about Love. Pero Sayo lang naman manggagaling ang True Love Lord. Thank you so much for everything. I've sinned much pero You've been always there. Naiiyak ako Lord. I've been a sinner. I'm so sorry po.
You've been always there to embrace my imperfections. Thank you so much Father!
--Being okay. Happiness. I'm getting there.
I've been through wet pillows, beer bottles and hangovers, skipped meals, blank stares... almost overly depressed.. even thought of suicide... for that past six months. All because I fell deeply in love but then I ponder.. Was it right to feel that way? "He" became the center of my universe that I even forgot that God should be the one. I lost track with my journey with God. I'm so sorry dear Father. I wonder if all those tears I shed was worth it? But I know God has greater plans for me. I can't promise but I'll try my very best na magbalik loob sa kanya , spend more time praying and reading His word.
It still hurts here because I still think of "Him", the man I've loved who almost broke my sanity but I shouldn't blame him, ginusto ko din to e. Eventhough at times I can't help but build hatred against him.. pero kahit pano kasi, nangingibabaw pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya. I just miss him so much and I do always pray for him. Wherever he is dear God, please guide him to the right path. On my part.. help me to become better and help me heal all these pains, guide my heart dear Lord. Guide me as nagbabalik loob po ako sa Inyo.
True love waits. Pero nakakatrauma na din po kasi. It's good that I'm better now pero can't evade the times na sober pa rin ako. For now, I'll keep myself busy and spend time to relax and unwind with my friends and family. Pero dapat di ako busy sa time ko with God.
Hirap pa din mag move on e, kasi siguro nga.. ako mismo hindi ko ma-i-let go ang sarili ko.Dahil kahit pano.. maybe I still hope na magparamdam siya.. that there'll be "US" again. (*Sigh) T_T
Kaw na po bahala sa akin Lord, pero dapat lang nga siguro I should help motivate myself.. pero I guess it will take time to be fully okay.
Dati I'll say nung single ako (na walang attachment sa iba), "God is still building my palace"--referring to my love life. Pero lam mo ngayon kahit pano, medyo na discourage na kong magkaroon ng happy ending. There'll not always be a happy ending. Bitter lang?
Help me Lord na magbalik ang strong faith ko about Love. Pero Sayo lang naman manggagaling ang True Love Lord. Thank you so much for everything. I've sinned much pero You've been always there. Naiiyak ako Lord. I've been a sinner. I'm so sorry po.
You've been always there to embrace my imperfections. Thank you so much Father!
--Being okay. Happiness. I'm getting there.
Comments
Post a Comment